- Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths.
- Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- Okay, who put a 'stop payment' on my reality check?
- Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
- Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
- Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
- Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
- If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
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